Evening thoughts

Tonight the sky is clear. Altogether cloudless as far as vision will carry. Slivers of pale hues stream through the seemingly timeless Douglas Firs standing immeasurably tall still after these years traversing the west for a southern boy bound to the vision of Pine forests and Black Walnut. This perspective of the cosmos on this land changed over years of use and misuse provide an ephemeral glimpse of the ages long passed populated by individuals whose names and their pronunciations long forgotten but whose bodies perhaps still fertilize this ground. For that time is not altogether lost not eternally silenced by the march of our progressive colonization of the living. I still hear the coyotes merely yards away and the breeze through these trees who were mere saplings. We are not separated from the past, yet. When the rough calloused bark makes contact with skin it is not the individual tree which is known but a family of trees reaching back before myth, before gods, before polarity before all that which we manifested. It is eternity.

The moon rises ever upward to its nightly crescendo in silence but the wild dogs seem to herald its course through the increasing lonesomeness of sound. These nights are cherished. Nights where I can sit in the deepening darkness without concern for the dawn. The time of division and separation lapses if only for a moment. This is peace. This is the time where the self and the other find union. By day we have divided and subdivided and yet again divided our lives into an ever increasing segregation of roles and tasks which have little bearing on the real only the contrived. But by evening we can, if we are quiet, if we are humble, be sewn back into the fabric that is our breath. There are no closed systems despite our attempts to compartmentalize everything. As if the health of our bodies was independent from spiritual health or the health of the soil. That our sex could be separated from our words or from our thoughts. That our work could be cloistered away from our home. In the enveloping darkness we may find unity.

The sky is still clear...Big Bear is passing slowly overhead. The air smells faintly of decay, summers decomposition. The cloudlessness and the fragrance of slow earthly death speak to the frigidity of the morning which will greet me as i rise from the grass. It is in moments such as these when clarity comes when living is far greater than making a living. When the need for life blooms in my heart. If we as a culture could collectively silence ourselves in the presence of darkness perhaps we would find no need to divide ourselves and fill in the empty spaces left behind with cheap substitutions. There is no replacement for silence, there can be no bridge to connect a divided self.

The communal farming experiment (Introduction)

 Introduction: Where philosophy and agriculture collide

Nestled in the low lying region east of the Coastal Range and west of the Cascades lies a near forty acre spread of farm land also home to one of the intentional communities here in the southern valley.  Many of these communities have come into existence in this progressive New Age haven of the Pacific Northwest. The land on which I currently reside is the dream for sustainably minded agriculturist, dreamers, half baked ex Deadheads, and urbanites looking for a reprieve from city streets, urban sprawl, and noise.  But there is a danger in bringing individuals from such various backgrounds under the banner of a "farm community" where very little farming is done and what has been done the past six years has all the hallmarks of reckless endeavors after long sessions over the bong.  The actions have all the force of a great notion absent the passion and commitment to see the notion cultivated past the point of initial excitement.  Before leases were signed the issue of starting a C.S.A. was broached and permission granted.  But like most else verbal permission is undone by unspoken reservations and withholdings. 

This self styled "farming" community has a philosophical foundation coming from a German commune called Zegg. The point of emphasis for Zegg (and the owners of this land) is that of polyamory, love, and openness in relationships (read free love) none of which I was interested in, being more "conventional" in relationships.  Upon moving onto the property questions where asked about comfort level with other peoples sexuality which made little sense to me at the time being respectful of whatever types of relationships people chose to have given they are responsible and positive even if those types of relationships are not what I chose for myself. How this philosophical underpinning relates to farming will be developed in coming segments. But here I wish to draw a line.  One cannot have a community which is agrarian in nature if the predominant philosophy is one dealing with sexuality namely sexual "liberation"  which, in this context, looks more like unfettered hedonism.  Yes, there will be much plowing and seed sowing occurring but very little of that to the actual soil.  I am not saying that polyamory is not a valid form of relationship but I am saying that a hedonistic(pleasure above all) approach to sexuality cannot translate to a proper relationship with the land which involves discipline, single minded devotion, and a long term commitment to a single portion of the land.  There are no closed systems or as my dear teacher at the ranch always said: "If you want a disciplined horse, you have to be a disciplined rider. If you want to be a disciplined rider you have to be a disciplined person. If you want to be a disciplined person you have to have a disciplined life."  One cannot farm well (or allow the land to be farmed well) if the other portions of ones  life are not handled with discipline, care, devotion, and self abnegation.